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Five Funny Crazy Things Women Do Because of Men in Nigeria

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Love is a battlefield. Battlefield or not, everyone wants to find love. In a country of 150 million, you’d think it would be easy to find love. You’d be dead wrong. Finding love may be hard everywhere else. It is even more difficult in Naija when you throw in religion, tribe, personal preferences and more.

People regularly do crazy things for love. Everyone goes all out when trying to find love, both men and women. In the quest to find “the one”, here are some crazy things Naija women have resulted to:

1. Wearing bum pads

We know many Naija men are so obsessed with big Ikebe. Many women have resulted to buying and wearing fake nyash just to increase their butt size. This fake nyash is usually made of pads that are worn on the butt to make it look bigger.

2. Turning from coke to fanta

When the bleaching craze got to Nigeria, men started toasting more fair women leaving our dark skinned sisters in the cold. The “omo dudu” women struck back by going many shades lighter. Bleaching creams have been making loads of cash in Nigeria since then.

3. Going from Orobo to Lepa and vice versa

When it comes to partners, everyone has different tastes. Some men love orobo women while others go for the lepa kind. What does an Orobo woman do when her crush/love interest likes women who are lepa? Join fitfam so she can become lepa. And the lepas whose love interests like Orobos? It’s time to turn into glutton so they can add weight.

4. Making their hips lie

Shakira clearly didn’t know Nigerian women can make “their hips lie” when she released that song. With the invention of the hip pads (kin to the nyash pads), women can get killer hips to attract those Naija brothers who love big hips.

5. Joining team “I can’t breathe” aka waist trainer gang

The struggle to look like Kim K is real. With the way men adore Toolz and other celebs with the hour glass figures, many regular Naija women got in on the action with waist trainers. You won’t be able to laugh, breathe well and eat. But it’s a small price to pay to look like Toolz.

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Celebrities

DJ Cuppy issues a message to all her exes

DJ Cuppy

Nigerian DJ and Billionaire Businessman, Otedola’s daughter, DJ Cuppy has taken to Instagram to share a message to her exes, a move many have interpreted as ‘we’re never getting back together’.

DJ Cuppy who held a glass of champagne in the photo she shared, wrote;

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“Dear Exes, You Used To Be My Cup Of Tea… But I Drink Champagne Now!  #CuppyOnAMission”

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Gist

“How my husband raped my best friend” – Woman tells shocking story

An angry woman has told the shocking story of how her husband was found out to have r*ped her own best friend in his home.

The woman, identified as Rukayat, told the story in a letter she sent to Vanguard.

Below is how she told the story:

“I was fresh out of the university when I found myself pregnant at age 22. I didn’t want to get married, but my boyfriend then was 30 years old and persuaded me we should get married for the child’s sake.

“The marriage turned out to be a nightmare as he became controlling and violent. I endured his abuse for 15 years and with three children, I finally found the courage to leave him – thanks to my best friend’s encouragement.

“I was to finally go to the house to collect the rest of my things and my friend agreed to go with me for moral support. Unfortunately, she arrived before I got there. My husband was in, in spite of his telling me he wouldn’t be around.

“He invited my friend in to wait for me and attacked her almost immediately, raping her in the process. When I eventually turned up, we both went to the police and got him arrested. Later, relatives and friends convinced us to drop the charges because of the children.

“My friend never spoke to me again and as soon as she could, she got transferred to another state. If I’d left my ex sooner, my friend might never have gone through the nasty experience of being violated. I blame myself for the trauma she went through.”

Rukayat got a reply after her story was read. Below is the reply:

“Dear Rukayat,

“I’m sorry for what happened to your best friend and it is sad you were unable to be reconciled before she relocated.

“Please know that what happened to her was not your doing. You are a victim just as she was and you need support in realising this.

“You did the best you could by reporting the incident. You’ve lost your best friend as well as your marriage.

“You need counselling to get over your losses and make the most of your life as the single parent you now are.”

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Gist

“I’m having s*x with my mother-in-law and it’s amazing” – Man confesses

I’m having an incredible and explosive s*xual affair with my mum-in-law, and the s*x is so amazing and I can’t stop…man shares the story online.

A young man has written to a popular s*x and relationship therapist, Deidre, who is also a columnist for The Sun UK newspaper about his addiction to s*xual intercourse with his mother-in-law after an explosive bonking one afternoon which got him hooked to her honey pot.

Below is his story;

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Dear Deidre,

I’m having a secret affair with my mother-in-law. She is almost twice my age and we have fabulous s*x.

I got married three years ago. I’m 26 and my wife is a gorgeous Italian girl. She’s 25. When I first went to her house I couldn’t believe her mum’s age. She is 44.

My then wife-to-be told me, proudly, that all her boyfriends had fancied her mum. It seemed a strange thing to say.

That’s the odd thing about marrying someone from another culture — there’s so much that’s different and strange that I didn’t know what to believe. Her mum owns a restaurant.

It’s a small, classy place and my mother-in-law took it on when my wife’s dad passed away. She’s a very smart woman who knows how to run a good business and still have time off to have fun.

My wife covers for her in the restaurant alternate weekends and that’s when her mother is free to see me.

The first time it happened she came to our house where I was alone with our two-year-old son. She said she was checking that I was behaving myself while my wife was away.

I poured her a drink and she pulled up her skirt while she sat next to me. I caught sight of stockings, all lacy and black. That’s something my wife knows I just can’t resist.

We had a couple more drinks then I couldn’t hold back anymore. We had s*x on the sofa while my son slept upstairs.

This is now quite a regular thing. We’ve progressed from suspenders and stockings to bondage and real kinky stuff like I’ve only ever dreamed of before.

I’ve never had this kind of s*x with anyone else and I know I won’t get it again. The s*x is up there in a league of its own but then so is the guilt.

I know this must stop but my willpower is weak.

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Below is the reply he got from the relationship expert;

Are you asking for advice or boasting about what you have been up to?

You know what to do.

You must tell your mother-in-law that it’s all been amazing but you must stop now or your son and your wife, the two people you should love the most, will get desperately hurt.

Take control of your life and please don’t let your lust get the better of you.

Maybe you’re fooling yourself that your wife wouldn’t mind.

I bet that she would.

How is your s*x life together?

Show her what you like but also focus on her.

Let go of other distractions and start giving your marriage the attention and love it deserves.

My e-leaflet How To Thrill a Woman in Bed can help.

Above all, think of yor son. Do your utmost to give him the calm loving home he deserves.

 

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