9 reasons you should never rush to say ‘I love you’


We’ve all experienced it. When you really like someone, it’s hard to hold yourself back from expressing your feelings to them.

When you’re smitten by someone, chances are, you’d be really enthusiastic about saying ‘I love you’ and making sure that person belongs to you. But sometimes it’s too soon, that other person’s feelings might not have developed like yours and you might scare them away.

Here are actual reasons why it’s not advisable to say ‘I love you’ too soon:

1. You will have killed the guessing game.

The excitement of playing hard to get with each other is what makes falling in love so much fun. If you say ‘I love you’ too soon, the excitement of wondering what’s on each other’s minds would end overnight. It’s not a bad thing to pronounce your feelings, but a longer dating process before declaring love almost always gives a better chance for a longer relationship because both of you waited and made sure your feelings were real before deciding to date.


2.  It’s always better to prove your love instead of saying.

If you really want to say ‘I love you’ and hear it back, then learn to play it safe. Instead of saying ‘I love you’, prove your love through actions. Don’t say how much you love that person, but show it through your romantic gestures. If the person loves you too, they’ll reciprocate with happiness. But if they aren’t looking for something serious, they’d seem uncomfortable with your affection.

Photo: Poka Arts/Instagram

3. There might be no reciprocation.

If you say ‘I love you’ and that person doesn’t respond with the same sentence, it makes the whole relationship go backwards. It’ll leave one of you confused and the other angry. And that builds insecurities and fills the air with a lot of awkwardness. Unless you’re completely smitten by this person you’re dating and don’t care whether they love you back or not, avoid saying it too soon.


4. You might create a big misunderstanding.

If you say something as serious as ‘I love you’ very early into the relationship, your love interest may think you’re not really in love with them but are just saying it to please them. That’s really the worst thing because your three magical words have just lost all meaning to your date.

Image: HowAfrica

5.  How well do you know each other?

People get infatuated with each other at first sight. They don’t fall in love! If you really need to love someone, you need to love them for who they are. So what do you know about your crush? Do you know about their exes, how many relationships they’ve been in, about their likes and dislikes and the kind of person they are? Always make sure you actually like the real person you’re dating for their personality before professing your love to them.

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6. You might be insecure.

Ask yourself this question sincerely, are you saying ‘I love you’ to this special person just to cover your insecurities? Some smitten lovers say those words just to beat any competition out of the way, or arm-twist the one they’re dating so they can feel more secure about the relationship or push away anyone else who’s threatening the relationship. If you have to profess your love, do it for the right reasons.

image: voidsandspaces.com

7.  Stuck in love.

If one of you says ‘I love you’ too soon, and the other person accepts and responds with the same line without really thinking, one or both of you may feel stuck in the relationship because it all happened so fast. If you say it too soon, your lover may even get angry with you if they jumped in too fast and reciprocated by saying that they loved you too. And instead of focusing on love, your new partner may have to spend all their time wondering if they really need to be in a serious relationship with you. Would you like that?

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8.  Pressure doesn’t always work.

Once you say it, the secret’s out in the open for you and your crush to see. And you can’t take your words back again. What if your crush just wants a casual relationship with you and doesn’t want anything serious just yet? They may really love you, but they may still be unsure about doing anything about it. And remember, there’s no going back once you say it. If your crush is uncertain about the future of the romance, saying ‘I love you’ will force them to think about it. And the extra pressure on deciding immediately may just force your date into turning you down or walking away if they’re not ready to be held down in a serious romance.


9.  It’s necessary to first watch a person’s response to your love first.

If you rush to lock someone down, you might not know how they actually feel about you. You’ll know if a person loves you back if they go out of their way to do something for you too. After you smother your them with love and romance, wait and watch their response. If that person really loves you, they’d start indulging in little romantic gestures. If that happens, they love you back. On the other hand, if they don’t respond in kind, perhaps they just need more time to fall madly in love with you.

Image: popsugar.com

So take your time.