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10 annoying things you can relate to if you frequently visit a Nigerian bank

A visit to the bank should be a very calm experience. The thought of going for your own money you asked someone to keep for you shouldn’t be a hustle, right?

Not in Nigeria. Here are 10 annoying experiences every Nigerian who has visited a bank may relate to.


1. Opening Time Is Never Opening Time

You’ll see the nice banner indicating working hours from 8:30am to 4:00pm. The truth is, the doors will open at 8:30am alright but no one will talk to you until like 9:15am. Till then, you stand in a queue.

Image: iDreamzMediaImage: iDreamzMedia

2. The Security Man Who Thinks He Is The Inspector General of Police (IGP)

We’ve all met them. They frustrate you. From opening the doors to finding a place to sit, they talk like they are the IGPs, not all of them, though. Only the ones who think themselves a boss more than they should.

Image: giphy.comImage: giphy.com

3. People Who Jump The Queue

There’s a special place in hell for them. Even that, they’ll still jump the queue to get to that special place first.

What The Hell Gif

4. ID Please

The banks have every passport picture you’ve ever taken on planet earth. They have all the signatures you’ve signed since KG. They have photocopied all the IDs you have since you joined them but still, they ask for an ID whenever you visit.

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5. The Client Services Personnel With An Attitude

Like it’s your job to be at the client’s service you know? These client services personnel won’t even open their mouth to answer you or show you what to do when you ask them. Go home if you can’t work!

Are you serious right now?Photo: Twitter

6. The ‘Network’ Problem

Sir, we can’t follow through with your transaction at the moment, the network is down. How is that a client’s problem? Just give them their cash already.

angry someway bi

7. Dysfunctional ATM

For all the places an ATM will not work, you expect the bank venue to be the last. Ironically, they are the first with that annoying notice on an A4 sheet.

surprise-for-real-memeImage: Makeameme

8. Sit And Stand To Move The Queue

You sit, then stand to move to the next seat after a few seconds. Repeat. Uggh!

tired

9. The Bossu Customer

This kind of customer is a “line cutter” and a show-off all in one. They just enter, move straight to the bank personnel, do their stuff, then they leave. How much do you have to save to get that pass?

my bad meme

10. The Account Balance Treatment

The service you get is based on your account balance. No matter how they deny it, there’s a difference once they see the money you have with them.

Obama meme

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“Couples who sleep naked have a happier relationship” – Survey

A new survey has revealed that couples who sleep naked have a happier relationship.

The study from Cotton USA asked couples what they slept in at bedtime and then asked them to rate how happy they were in their relationship.

According to the results, 57 percent of those who slept in the nude said they felt happy, compared to 48 percent of pyjamas wearers, 43 percent of nightie wearers and a mere 38 percent of people who wore pants, bum shorts, etc.

Stephanie Thiers-Ratcliffe of Cotton USA said that one of the leading factors for this was that the nakedness encouraged intimacy and openness, thanks to the skin-on-skin contact and the feeling of soft bedding.

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Guys! Ths is what happens to the pen*s as you get older, according to science

Our bodies change with age, but how about the most private parts? What happens to Pen.!s when it ages? Let’s get some clear answers.

So, guys, what can you expect to happen to your Pen.!s when you grow older? These clues will prepare you for the inevitable changes.

How Pen.!s changes with age?

Length

When most men are born, their Pen.!ses reach only 4 cm in length! The average size ranges between 16 and 23 cm. Does it decrease in size, when you grow old? Not exactly, but things change. For instance, if you gain much weight, your Pen.!s looks shorter. The fat is located in the lower part of your belly and covers up part of the Pen.!s shaft. However, in your 60s or 70s the Pen.!s can actually a bit shrink in size by some 2-3 cm.

Testicle size

After 40 they decrease by 1 third of their size. Healthy younger men have them around 3 cm in size, while the older guys may have only 2 cm size balls.

Working condition

The performance changes, too. When you turn 40, your S3@.x:’ual activity and the amount of male hormones in the body decreases. In the youth a healthy man may have S3@.x:’ several times a day, in the later age erectile dysfunction may change things for worse. The muscles weaken and the vessels get clogged. It also contributes to weaker erection. So, having S3@.x:’ few times a week is great, when you age.

man

Enjoyment

It greatly depends on the sensitivity of your male organ. Unfortunately with age it decreases a bit, but it’s good for those guys, who come too fast. Now they have more chances to gain control and boost the duration of their performance in bed.

Looks

You start losing your head hair with the age, but that’s not it. Men also lose their pubic hair and their Pen.!ses change the color a bit.

Time spares no one, so enjoy your S3@.x:’ life in the  young age, but do not worry, over 80 percent of men maintain their male organs in great working condition even being seniors.

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Guys beware! It is dangerous to have s*x in these 4 situations

Is S3@.x:’ always good? There are times when you should stay away from it, and every man should know the reasons not to get busy! This list may surprise you.

List of 4 reasons why not to have S3@.x:’:

Besides the obvious thing – not being the husband of the lady you plan to enjoy, there are other reasons to keep away from intimacy. Here they are.

1. At your bachelor’s party

party

You are a groom and your friends bring in some girls to have fun at your last bachelor’s night out. It’s the worst possible idea to get busy with a stripper or some strange girl. You have picked that woman to be your wife for a reason. Keep it in mind, when other ladies offer fun to you. You do not want to start your married life with cheating. What you sow, you will reap!

2. Alcohol

alcohol

Either you or she or both of you are drunk. How much is too much? 3 to 5 drinks can make you less wise in your decisions and less cautious. Consuming alcohol, you become more open for risky things, such as unprotected S3@.x:’. And you put yourself and the other person in danger of getting SDTs (HIV and other love bugs) or impregnating the woman.

Such a situation is highly undesirable. So, if you drink too much, make a rule to abstain from S3@.x:’ with a new girlfriend.

3. At her parents’ house

house

That’s not the best location for the love games. They may return home unexpectedly. Or if they are home, they may enter her room any time and catch you at it. It’s a very embarrassing situation.

4. When you wish to marry her

marry

She is a V!rg!n, and you have made up your mind to marry her. But you want her so and think: what if we do it now? Why wait for the wedding night? Stop! You are going to ruin it all. Waiting does not kill anyone. Just set the date and you won’t regret it. As waiting double the pleasure on the first night!

These reasons should stop you and make you think. S3@.x:’ is not always a good idea, and it can be dangerous and has the power to ruin your life when done at the wrong time and with the wrong person.

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