MOST men – and their women – would like to have a mean-sized 4-5 to ensure pleasure between the sheets.
But Mnombo “Anaconda” Madyibi (32) and his wife want exactly the opposite. That’s because Mnombo’s snake-sized 4-5 is allegedly too big, hairy and scary for his new wife’s kitten!
Mnombo got his nickname after his fellow soccer players saw his 4-5 in the change rooms before a soccer match. But his new wife said she’s not being entertained by his bullish 4-5 as it’s destroying her kitten.
Mnombo, a local soccer player from Bhongweni Village in Mthatha, allegedly got klapped on Friday night by his new makoti on their honeymoon in Coffee Bay, on the Wild Coast of the Eastern Cape.
“All was well and she enjoyed the pre-intimacy, but all hell broke loose the moment I took off my underwear.
“My wife said she wanted a 4-5 inside her kitten, not an anaconda,” claimed Mnombo.
“When I tried to penetrate her, she bit my ear before squeezing my balls. Before I knew it, she knocked me over with a bottle of wine before attempting to suffocate me with a red and white teddy bear I had bought her as a gift.”
Mnombo claimed his screams summoned other guests and staff at the B&B where they were staying.
“We took different buses back home. I don’t want to lay charges against my new wife. I love her.
“I think she’s angry because I could only afford a cheaper honeymoon instead of the one she wished for in Zanzibar.”
He said he met his makoti at church last year and she told him she wanted to abstain from sex until they were married.
“I’ve only heard of joystick enlargement and not joystick shrinking,” said a frustrated Mnombo.
When Daily Sun contacted her, his wife said Mnombo was telling lies.
“He has a big 4-5 – long like a cucumber and hairy and scary like a bush. I only slapped him on the cheek and never moered him or tried to suffocate him,” she said.
The couple agreed to get counselling and said they would not involve the police.
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Chinese woman leads friends to witness her husband sleeping with another lady (Photos + Video)
A shocking video has emerged online showing just how violent a Chinese wife can be when she finds her husband in bed with another woman.
The clip, believed to be filmed in a hotel in China, shows the spurned wife bringing a number of male and female friends with her as she catches her spouse red-handed.
The video, which has over 13 million views, was filmed by one of the wife’s friends as the group busted in at the scene.
The other two men in black leather jackets – possibly her relatives – can be seen kicking open the hotel room door and crashing the couple inside.
The shocked mistress was standing at the foot of the bed when the wife burst in, with the two men pointing towards the hubby and ordering him not to move.
The violent footage shows the moment the wife and her friends then begin punching, slapping and pounding the naked mistress as she tries to shield herself from the blows.
Incredibly, the stark naked husband tried to protect his girlfriend and at one point even put his body in the way of her and his furious wife.
But it does little to stop the wife and her friends from continuously slapping both people as they tried desperately to scramble to safety on the hotel room bed.
The clip ends with the husband being called ‘shameless’ and it is unclear whether charges were pressed against any party.
Adultery is not a punishable crime in China, which is why many men and women with unfaithful spouses feel the need to take matters into their own hands.
Watch Video; (HERE or below)
Half-naked teacher killed during while having car s*x
An ex-pat Irishman who died in a high-speed car crash was reportedly having S3@.x:’ with a Thai woman when the collision happened, investigators believe.
The speeding black Suzuki lost control and hit a post at 1 am on Wednesday morning, killing teacher John Malone, 39, in Chiang Rai, northern Thailand.
Rescuers who arrived at the scene first found John wearing just a blue t-shirt while a N@kkd Thai woman was on the black passenger seat – neither had their seat belts on.
Pictures show John lying N@kkd on a stretcher while the young woman is unclothed in the car but unconscious.
The male driver – who was clothed – and the female front seat passenger who were both Thai were treated at Kasemrad Sriburin General Hospital.
The volunteer rescue foundation Siam Ruam which attended the crash said authorities were now investigating.
A spokesman said today:
“One foreign man died in the crash. The staff helped to bring out the bodies and give first aid.This was a black Suzuki Swift and it was speeding.We think the man was having S3@.x:’ or maybe a b****** in the car.There were three Thai people and one foreign man. Two of them were women. They were injured and the driver was unconscious but only the man died.
“How it happened exactly we do not know yet. From the scene, we know that the two passengers did not have clothes on. The man had a small t-shirt.
The rescue foundation said that all three of the other people involved in the crash were Thai and that John, originally from Co Longford, was the only foreigner.